Happy's SECOND Grave Mistake
by ADoorABell
Summary: Happy's back! This time it's for revenge! But what will happen to our favorite feline when he takes it WAY to far? Please R&R! A follow-up on my story Happy's Grave Mistake.


**Happy practically got himself killed with his soap opera story. Now what? **

**Haha never owned Fairy Tail and never will... :3 Please R&R~ Thanks a lot for the reviews I promise to add A/N (Author's Note) if I write random things in the middle of my stories!**

**If anyone wants to be my beta reader please PM me! Thanks!**

Like any other normal day in the guild, Natsu and Gray were fighting over something completely trivial. In this case, it was about who had to buy Erza's strawberry cake for her.

"UNDERWEAR PRINCE! I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT GOIN' IN THERE TO BUY THE FREAKIN' CAKE!"

"SAY WHAT, FLAME BRAIN?"

"ICE FREAK!"

"HOT SAUCE!"

"MINT FACE!"

"IDIOT!"

"DROOPY EYES!"

"SLANTY EYES!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Guys just SHUT UP!" Lucy's own dangerous purple aura was glowing around her. _She could rival Erza in terms of scariness if she wanted to,_ Mira noted.

"Does it seriously matter who buys the cake? How 'bout BOTH of you guys go in there and buy the cake? Isn't that a better solution?" Lucy groaned in misery when she noticed that Gray and Natsu were back to fighting again. Mira sighed in boredom, before reaching down behind the bar and pressing a red button.

"Code Red, I repeat. Code Red." A mechanical voice droned as two clear barriers were lowered onto Natsu and Gray. Erza, too, after she charged after them waving a sword.

"What the hell, Mira?" Gray banged on the sides of the things and noticed the red and purple runes.

"MIRA I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL AFTER THIS!" Erza declared.

"FRIED YOU JERK! HOW COULD YOU ALLY WITH THE SHE-DEVIL?" Natsu screamed.

Fried smiled sadly. "She _forced_ me to. And, if you're wondering, these rune cages only last ten minutes, then they disappear and reappear when something else happens. I'm sorry, but I seriously can't remember what the runes were when I wrote them. I'm so sorry." He literally melted in shame.

Mira smirked. "That should teach you three to behave a bit." Just then, she noticed the sorry bundle hobbling through the guild's front door.

"Oh, hey Happy! You feeling okay?" The blue cat glared at Mira, before climbing onto a barstool and collapsing. Happy was covered from head to paw in swathes of bandages. The poor cat could barely groan, in fear of displacing some bandages before the wounds had healed.

Happy was mad. Happy was pissed. And a mad AND pissed Happy was something to contend with. The gears in his brain were turning. Yes, Happy was gonna spend the precious time that Natsu, Erza and Gray had left in the barriers to create some trouble.

"Hey guys! I have an announcement!" Happy trembled as he stood on the table.

"What?" Every face was turned to him. Happy let out an inward snicker.

"Lucy's actually a man." You could seriously hear a pin drop, before Lucy screamed.

"WHAT THE HELL? $%^%^$$#%^%#$%^$%$#$%^&^%$#$%^&!" Lucy swore and blushed when she noticed everyone staring at her.

"And Gray's pregnant." The second Happy-bomb fell onto the hushed guild.

"GRAY-SAMA?" Juvia went into a dead faint.

Natsu was literally roaring with laughter. "A PREGNANT STRIPPER? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"So says Natsu the GIRL." Happy roared back. A brief pause, before Natsu and Gray were both spewing up fire and ice (respectively) towards the cat, but the barrier was preventing it from happening.

"Thanks Fried! As I was saying," Happy purred. "Erza's a wild Amazon woman that was civilized by Mira and came here!"

The whole guild stared in shock. Who in this silly world of Fiore would dare to insult Erza? _Erza,_ of all people. That was like signing your own death sentence wishing that you would be killed. But in Happy's case, a flimsy guard of runes was all the seperated him and the Godess of Tantrums. You should be surprised that Fried's runes were even able to withstand the scarlet mage's hits.

"Oh no!" Mira's hand flew up to her mouth. She stared at the timer next to the red button. 0:05.

"Happy! Stop right now!" Levy's eyes widened as she saw the problem, too.

But Happy was on a roll and beyond stopping. He even started insulting the people _outside_ of the rune barriers.

"Reedus you're obese!"

"Fried you're hair is ugly! You should cut it!"

"Elfman you're never gonna be a man!"  
"Evergreen don't dress like a slut!"

"Gajeel you're not a women, so get rid of those earrings!"

"Bixlow are you a frog? Your tongue says so..."

"Lisanna grow you're hair out!"

"Wendy grow out a chest please!"

Mira, Levy, and now Lucy watched in horror as the timer ticked. 0:04. 0:03. 0:02. 0:01. 0:00.

The runes buzzed and disappeared. Happy saw that he was up against a group of the most PISSED mages he had ever seen.

So, of course, he tried to make up for it in a few words.

"I'm sorry...would anyone like a fish?"

_Happy Dragneel_

_May he rest in the peace that he does not deserve._

_P.S. Everyone's still mad at you._

_XXXX-XXXX_

**Hey...I'm done! For all of you that were waiting for a sequel-thing to this, well, here it is! xD R&R, and tell me what you want Happy's next adventure to be! :3**


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